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I have to say I was
surprised, honoured and all excited
to
hear that I've been invited to participate in the inaugural
annual Infernal
Galactic Spam Challenge; a
competition to assess who can shout loudest and longest to
solicit the most dislikes and twits on various SocMed platforms.
A condition of
entry is that I only have to exclaim seven times per day on
SocMed platforms of my choice how "honoured & excited" I am to
be one of the chosen few. In fact, it really wouldn't surprise
me if I were the only chosen one in this respect,
but I guess we'll never know for sure as there is no definitive
published list of entrants, just a free-for-all approach where
"he who yells, wins".
In an attempt to
understand this modern phenomenon of "he who yells, wins"
and to maximise my own chances of success I spoke to a renowned
expert on the subject and Commander-in-Chief of the Spam
Appreciation Society who offered the following
advice:
"Ahh yes, some of
us still remember the dark ages when people hung around foggy,
damp street corners, standing on soap boxes trying to solicit
support using the good old fashioned methods of persuasion and
argumentation to advance their particular 'causes'. But not any
more. This is the digital age of spam, where one can mobilise
thousands, perhaps even millions with a single shortened message
of 140 characters or less, you don't even need to include any
vowels, just rpt yr msg cnstntly 7x dly .........." at which
point the Commander-in-Chief felt the sudden urge to inform the
world on his pad thing he'd just ordered a cappuccino in a local
coffee shop. After which he photographed the said coffee just in
case the world didn't know what coffee looked like.
Well, a' this
seems a little strange to a self-proclaimed Old Luddite like
myself. A competition for "the best ..." with no known list of
entrants but the winner is the one with most votes from the
masses, or perhaps in this case the shepherd with the largest
flock.
That reminds me;
isn't there a UK general election coming soon too?
Author's note: The
Infernal Galactic Spam Challenge is not related to,
nor does it bear any resemblance to any other competition past
or present, even in a time when the alphabet is almost too short
to provide enough letters for a proliferation of competitions,
honestly. |
